JJ!

JJ!!!!
I arrived at my new place!

at last!!!!!1!!
🙂
also 🙁
its weird to go home and ur not there
and know ur home is somewhere else 🙁
what am i going to do? haha

you could…
eat pizza

o shit i could
might make me too sad tho
ill have to eat shitty rice pasta and wish u were here

aw
poor baby

for real tho
im really going to miss u

me too
I have no furniture
have to go to ikea lmao

haha
illl just be here
sitting on our actual nice couch that doesn’t suck
my couch now
muahaha

oh no!!
what are you going to do on my couch D:

im gonna…
sit on it
and
eat
some
fucking
pizza

lmao

btw does your new (far inferior obv) housemate
know she’ll never eat real food again??

hahah

no really are u gonna have to like
quarantine ur own cooking stuff
so u dont get glutened?

apparently she doesn’t cook
like
at all?
so the kitchen is mine I guess

ha

yeah
i guess if i can’t find someone who isn’t also
like
allergic to food
someone who just doesn’t cook at all
is the second best option

OR
someone who is willing to sacrifice all culinary enjoyment
in there own home
& eat ur shitty food all the time
just coz they like u so much
and want to insure u continue
to not die
of allergy death
aka jaden clark 🙂
best ever friend
housemate
platonic husband
ect

no no that’s the zeroth best option
obv
:’)

B)
kk
i forgive u
for that
not for moving obv

but yeah
hopefully work out ok
she seems cool so far
weird
but cool

k well i hope she doesnt turn out to be like
some kind of serial killer
or something

I asked her
she said she’s not

sus imo
thats just what a murderer would say
check her id

she saw that on my screen lol
she’s gone to get it

rofl
okay
watch out ms shell sebastian
if that is your real name
wait
i take that back
yikes
that’s a bad thing to say right?

lol
she laughed
I think it’s fine

k well lmk if you get murdered

ofc
you’ll be the first person I haunt
if I die

keep ur epipen on you

what
do you think she’ll murder me with a banana?

no not necessarily
but like
u can use it to defend urself
pow
wait
no that would just give your attacker extra adrenaline? or somf?
probs bad idea
don’t do that
learn kung fu or something

lol

ok
i better go
jez is coming over with beer
so i can drown my sorrows
in something u can’t drink

J betrayal
SMDH

hey
hey
you can’t feel betrayed
by my bringing beer into our house.
after you moved away!!
all the way to fucking sydney
:’(

no I mean you
replacing me with another J
no fair

nowai!!
anyway jeremy starts with j but it doesn’t start with “jay”
so not the same
can’t be
u and me are JJ 4eva :p

😀
ok good
I should probably go be sociable with Shell tho
so she doesn’t murder me with a banana

yeah
fair

guess ill order pizza
with yeast
and gluten
and cheese
and tomato
and think about all the ways
the pizza could have killed you
🙁 🙁

go go
order pizza

oh i will
but you can’t make me enjoy it
what are you going to eat
since i am not there to cook your terrible food

got me some rice

woo
and your fancy soy sauce
that isn’t soy sauce
even though it is
soy sauce thats j friendly

got my tamari
grate some zucchini
feast of non-j-death

sounds terrible
but i wish i were eating it with u
sorry
so emo
i dont have a gf so
you get all my sappiness

nbd
I can take it
you’ve been single before
I know how it goes

lol

won’t last long though
you’re a catch
watch out
all the girls will be all over you

haha
nah
idk
might jsut
be single for a while
idk

still bummed about ellen? :/

oh!
nah
not that
just
idk
doesn tmatter

don’t worry!
you’ll find someone
for sure
you’ve got it all
super hot
good job
super reasonable landlord 😉
not great at spelling though

lmao
omg
your my landlord
smh

I was before!!
you were always renting that room
from me
in the apartment that I own

yah yah
fkn
whatever
different now
different bad
🙁
🙁

aw
look on the bright side
think of the pizza you can eat
and you can eat peanut butter
and drink milk
and eat eggs
and fish
and mushrooms
and vinegar

nah
it’s still ur house
when u come back it should
like
not kill u
or
u know
if u visit or wev
if u don’t come back
🙁
🙁

okay but
consider
nobody will think i’m your boyfriend
should help
getting the girls 😉

heh
i guess
thats how much i miss u
im even sad
that people will no longer assume im ur bf
🙁
jk obv

haha
plus
you live alone now
so you can have loud sex
whenever you want

heh
i guess
u cant tho
unless shell is losing her hearing

omg she isn’t that old

she’s like
as old as my dad

is your dad losing his hearing

no
lol

Shell is young at heart!!
anyway
i’ll miss you too mate
a lot

i know
<3
lol

<3
now I won’t have a token straight friend
who will
idk
do whatever straight friends do

haha
yeh
so
um…
should we like
talk

it’s fine
we don’t have to
it’s fine
k
let’s just forget it
ok?
i’m sorry
i’m weird
it was weird of me
it’s like
idk
whatever
can we just forget it

idk
weird of me to
maybe
wev
sory
u dont want to talk abt it
i jus tdont want
liek
things to be weird
bcoz of not talking abt it
adn i dont
idk
so awk
sry

I know
let’s just
agree that we don’t have to talk about it?
we’re good ok
right?
we’re good?

always!!
jj for 20 years
jj forever
🙂

🙂

ok
lmk when i can come and visit

yeah
of course!
I need to get settled in to work first
don’t have any leave or anything

i can just come for a weekend or somf
u don’t need to take time off work

nah nah
if you’re going to come all the way to sydney
which you have informed me many times
is an extremely unreasonable distance
I will show you around properly

haha ok
work hard then
get flex time
so i can come
and cook your shitty rice pasta for you
😉

heh
🙂
it’s just not the same
when I boil the kettle myself

ofc not
u need my gentle loving touch
also u always cook the pasta too long
and it gets even grosser

I cook it according to the package directions!

yeh nah
trust me
im the shitty pasta expert

haha ok

for real tho
i am coming up
as soon as you are free
can’t just be one j
must be JJ!!

definitely
yeah

byeeeee

bye 🙂